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like a fool with a daisy-stalk.
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| xmas |
[Dec. 25th, 2006|08:41 pm] |
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and all has changed. anyone still reading? |
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| --- |
[Nov. 12th, 2006|07:31 pm] |
death makes people not know what to say to each other.
it makes me feel like im treading on eggsheels, and i feel sorry for amy, caus its not the death that is the worst part its people constantly reminding you of it.
on to a lighter note.
this weekend was a bit disappointing. ive been out for all of it.
friday i took pictures of amy, that was good, im a bit rubbish still and stuff but i really do want to improve. they're on my myspace.
friday night i went out with amber. it was alright, drugs talk drives me mad though to be fair. but meh, im over it. that night at hers was good though caus we talked all the way back and resolved stuff.
then,
saturday i was supposed to work, but didnt. not that there isnt enough staff there anyway.
millions of useless people.
and so i stayed with amber all day, then we went out in the night.
it was a bit disjointed but was made good by the company.
i had no idea how much i missed ashley until last night, we still have our little connection.
we went to a crap party after eating our hearts out on big breakfasts. it was so tasty because we got fucked before. i liked being stoned with ashley because we ramble a lot. its a shame amber goes quiet when shes stoned, it makes me think that shes annoyed but shes really just concentrating or thnking or something.
anyway it was a good night. we went to a shit party and things but we all ended up at ambers rambling into the morning.
i slept for so long today n all. until midday, usually i wake up early at other peoples houses.
college tomorrow and i well cant be bothered. life. |
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| SELF DESTRUCT. |
[Oct. 17th, 2006|10:33 am] |
i want a cigarette but new lungs to smoke it with.
i want my health.
i want to loose weight even though im not eating, it goes nowhere.
the only reason im not eating is because i cant taste anything.
i hate colds.
and it makes me iller by not eating.
i know when it's gone i'll be back to normal.
i hate feeling stuck.
i hate repetition. especially when i dont think i can spell it right.
work work work. job. rest. work work work.
i want EXCITEMENT.LOVE.HAPPINESS.FRIENDS.
and i know its all there but im just not willing to let it in.
i cant be bothered to document my weeks. they all read the same.
I WANT TO GET AWAY. |
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| a million ways to be cruel. |
[Oct. 10th, 2006|07:39 pm] |
some people document and record events for memory, some for safety and to be heard.
im not sure which one i fall into.
too deep.
i hate people that have it all on the surface though. it drives me mad.
i like thinking theres a little depth to everyone, of course there is but some people are just deeper than others.
secrets and something driving them, wether its love or a goal, anything really.
i like it.
i like reading other peoples lives, even if it makes mine seem rather bland.
i like other peoples drama. im honest.
but sometimes i wonder when people are writing away their lives how distorted the truth becomes and writing some kind of neat version of their lives takes over.
whatever, i should stop thinking about it.
i like the company from the girl at the moment. its cute. every day for the last three days shes slept on me. its weird sleeping without her sometimes.
something has definatly changed for the better.
( goodnight and go. ) |
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| FEST HIGHLIGHTS |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|10:29 pm] |
(to cheer me up.)
-getting melly, romy and emily in for free caus ive got teeny wrists and great blagging skills.
- camping with lots of people i know and meeting new people i didnt.
-seeing mel and leanne and the kenelis lot again, i miss them all a lot.
-mdma/coke/laughing gas/alcohol/ skunk... drugs basically, caus its the only time of the year i take a lot.
- amazing bands, especially: placebo, the dresden dolls, yeah yeah yeahs, get cape. wear cape. fly, lady soverign, too many djs.
-the pillow fight on thursday night, rather surreal.
- the tiny dance tent.
-random hugs, high fives.
-camp fires, relaxing.
- the sandwich leanne made me.
- showering afterwards.
-wearing wellies.
- lying on the dirt with emily and bailey, listening to hurt while hundreds of people walked around us. just laying still.together. |
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| if i loved you a little less i'd talk a little more. |
[Aug. 19th, 2006|11:39 pm] |
i can see that shes holding tomorrow now
i belong with yesterday
long long journey
it was a long long night
at your feet, i think you'll find
dragging you down
i keep catching myself letting you slip in
to skin, soft
rain tonight, home tonight
silence
if i loved you a little less i'd talk a little more. |
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| dreaming. |
[Aug. 10th, 2006|08:11 am] |
soi just woke up from the weirdest dream.
i was saving london from a terrorist attack and it had loads of people i know in it.
and there was blowing up things and i had little time. it was like a movie. and i had to interpret this french man to get the details of when it was all going to happen and then i had to get into the hospital but noone would listen that london was under attack and we had until 6.30 to live, so i dressed up as a paramedic and got into a hospital. danny is inside with loads of kids and the nurse there wont believe me about london being in trouble. and then laura walks out and id been looking for her in a panic because i didnt want her to die, and im like "laura!!" and shes just like "have you seen my cake?" and i start getting all angry, people are talking i shout at a girl whos injured what with it being a hospital and all and then sit down and laura comes over and hugs me and says calm down,its alright soph.
then i woke up in a panic this morning.
i had to write it down caus it was so weird, i dont usually dream, unless im really tired.
and i kind of was yesterday, worked and then pub and then home and the night before 5 hours sleep.today ive got to tidy then probably go out later on. still a bit phased by that dream. how strange. |
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| help. |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|05:46 pm] |
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could someone teach me how to link pictures onto the other page as you do. thanks. |
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| today |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|09:49 pm] |
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was great went to amys and watched football, and im a bit drunk and party tomorrow. yeah il update later, maybe edit. |
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| sugar rush |
[Jun. 9th, 2006|01:16 am] |
made me all :(
just finished the first series (2nd time) and awww.
its late i should sleep. |
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| maths |
[Jun. 5th, 2006|10:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | elliot smith- say yes | ] |
was shit, i knew it would be. oh well.
emily and i wallowed in self pity, ate pizza and watched hollyoaks in bed.
tomorrow were going to see the omen after english exam.
not an emo entry. |
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| oh and |
[Jun. 3rd, 2006|08:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | gregory and the hawk- isabelle. | ] |
i need to remember to go to the doctors to pick up more pills for my allergy.
im going to rattle soon.
i just ate nasty pasta stuff.
i really want to go and see someone, amber. but i dont know where she is. tonight i make it my mission to learn how to roll. i have to im sooo crap.
theres jaffa cakes staring at me. also i want to decorate my room. fuck it lets go. pure poster.
well one wall. i think im going to move stuff off my wardrobe it kind of blows in the wind.
really annoyingly.
ive got a lot of old shit to put up. i know im about to go down memory lane. |
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| comedown |
[May. 27th, 2006|11:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home,finally | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | elliot smith- rose parade | ] |
kind of. or at least it feels like it.
yesterday was really weird, but good weird. surreal.
last day of school ever, it didnt really register. not until the assemberly.
theres a ton of pictures that i need to put onto things.later.
amy and danielle played in assemberly, everyone cried. even emily, and she doesnt really do crying.
it was sad, but i think i cried purely caus all my friends were and then we all hugged and it was really like oh :(
i dunno i think its a bit pathetic now. im not sure.i kinda go in mood swings about it.
im in a bit of a mood now really. not even sure why. quite wide awake.
last night was well good though. went to landan with emily and it was a bit good.
went to ghetto and the worlds end and took pills and met people and walked a lot and danced and pulled and spoke to weird woman about star signs and saw jeferee(sp?) star and slept at minnies and got lost a bit and didnt pay for the bus and smiled at randoms on tubes and felt weird and disorientated and like a tourist and got pissed off at amber and then said sorry and then got really happy and told emily i loved her about 464656 times and got in when the sun was coming up and slept in my clothes and just loved everything. |
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| .. |
[May. 22nd, 2006|10:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | elliot smith- miss misery | ] |
stupid.
i burnt myself with a glue gun about 6 times today.
not intentionally but after the 3rd time i stopped shouting as much.
holes.
and i walked into the table in the library.
so knee, hand and head hurts.
but im better mood than before.
emily and i watched this this on booze drinking at 12 today then went back into school, we worked til 6 then watched hollyoaks here. i wanted her to stay for curry but her mums annoying.
im going to miss her so much.
english exam tomorrow and the end of media. no revision. im fucked. |
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| any luck |
[May. 20th, 2006|06:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | here | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cranky | ] |
shes already wearing the ring
and you're all tied down
to the bedposts
but i try not to think of that
you're buying an appartment in the town
sharing keys and putting that deposit down
to rooftop view to my room
but you're trying not to think of that
shes coming home late
you're used to the empty house
filled with stale memories of summers passed
cigarettes and daisy chains sprawled across wet grass
but i try not to think of that
it might not be what you expected
2.4 children and a small terrace garden too
when the routine wears thin
and you wonder when the bliss of marriage begins
but you try not to think of that
what did you expect of my reaction
i like you but
but what? but its not to be, it never will be
its like you walked in and out just to pass the time
but i try not to think of that
but you try not to think of that
but we try not to think of that. |
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| she's almost art |
[May. 14th, 2006|10:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | la bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | love can damage your health | ] |
i have an art exam tomorrow, ive been working quite hard on it, pete doherty looks to peachy in skin tone but i couldnt be bothered to change him.
im stressed then im not. its weird.
today was alright, i made up with amy, overreacted a bit, i think so.
need more 11 o clock music, lovers spit, get over it.
im just saying that yes, but maybe i do need some variation.
yess. |
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| ill |
[May. 9th, 2006|08:47 am] |
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very, and i hate it. and im watching will and grace trying not to cough caus it hurts my throat. my laugh sounds funny. im going to post some happy times pics to cheer me up. the bonfire on friday and amy and i on sunday. summers here! |
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| ta da |
[May. 5th, 2006|04:43 pm] |
well your camera should have a manual setting for aperture and shutter speed. i'm going to explain it in simple terms cos it's hella confusing but very handy to know.
shutter speed is how quickly the shutter closes - i.e how fast the photo takes. the slower the shutter speed the longer it will take to take the photo- resulting in blurring
aperture - if you were doing a portrait where you wanted to get their face in focus, but completely blur the background, use a small aperture number. if you wanted to get the foreground and background in focus then you'd use a large aperture number,
wont loose them here. |
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